The Three Commitments

Living in a blended family is one of the most challenging familial environments that a person could possibly live in. The good news is that living in and surviving in a blended family can work. In fact it can be a very wonderful experience for everyone involved. There are three critical ideals that must be adapted if a person is going to have a thriving blended family. Without a commitment and resolve to hold fast to these concepts, then the chance for the survival of the blended family is marginal.

The first commitment is that the husband should be present and committed to the success of the blended family (BF) and that he should accept the full responsibility for the success of the new family. This family will need his leadership, time, understanding, patience, flexibility (a significant portion of this), diplomacy, determination, emotional and spiritual commitment at what will seem to be a full time 24 x 7 basis. Men, are you up for it? Weigh the costs…and the rewards of such a commitment.

The second commitment is that the husband and the wife of the blended family (BF) be committed to one another first. This sounds very simple and it should be, but in reality it is more difficult than one might imagine at first glance. However, the husband and wife must see to it that their relationship is the one that is nurtured, supported, paid attention to and invested in above every other relationship in the family. This will require significant effort since there will be a natural tendency for a parent to protect their own children before protecting the other spouse. Men and women can you do it?

The third principal is that the family should realize that even though the goal is to have the BF look and feel as much like a traditional family as possible, the truth of the matter is that there will be two separate families living under one roof. This is important to face and understand. It is simple for the husband and wife to come together as one and they should but the two families will also still need to have their own identities separately as well as jointly.

The challenges are definitely there. The rewards are also there to make all the challenges seem worthwhile. Many families are blending and doing so successfully. It will take a commitment to study, understand and execute the three principles discussed.